"Truth, it is a beautiful and terrible thing and should therefore be treated with caution." Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought." J.K. Galbraith
"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." Franklin P. Jones
"Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them." Lou Holtz
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them." Mark Twain
"A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch." Anon
"Action expresses priorities." Mahatma Gandhi
"Hurricane Sandy gives American Airlines a great excuse for running as late as they normally do." Anon
"More people vote in American Idol than in any US election." Anon
"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." Confucius
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right thing." Porter
"Let your desires be ruled by reason." Cicero
"Wisdom is ofttimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar." William Wordsworth
"Better to bend in the wind than to break." Chinese Proverb
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln
“Often times when you face such an overwhelming challenge as global climate change, it can be somewhat daunting - it's kind of like trying to lose weight, which I know something about.”Hillary Clinton
"I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows ’til you come home." Groucho Marx
"When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn’t doing the same." Anonymous
"Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages." Dave Barry
"You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the further you get." Michael Phelps
"Please all, and you will please none." Aesop
"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." Nelson Mandela
"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money." Margaret Thatcher
"Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain
"I notice increasing reluctance on the part of marketing executives to use judgment; they are coming to rely too much on research, and they use it as a drunkard uses a lamp post; for support rather than for illumination." David Ogilvy
"The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered "Man.""
"Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." Elbert Hubbard
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I give up reading." Henny Youngman
"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction." Douglas MacArthur
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." Nelson Mandela
"A leader is a dealer in hope." Napoleon Bonaparte
"I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." E.E. Cummings
"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." Oscar Wilde
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done." Andy Rooney
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
"Experience is a hard teacher because it gives the test first, and the lesson afterwards." Anon
"Why, if love is blind, is lingerie so popular?"
"You can observe a lot by just watching." Yogi Berra
"Tell a person that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he has to touch it."
"If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?"
"Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?"
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." Woody Allen
"When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me."
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" George Carlin
"If people from Poland are called Poles, are people from Holland called Holes?"
"Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?"
"Punctuality is the virtue of the bored." Evelyn Waugh
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." George Carlin
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